New cycle new hope. Hari ni da hari ke 4. Moga cycle baru ni dapat buat aku lebih kuat. I think that I'm strong enough to handle this but I'm not. I'm NOT. Dekat tmpt kerja, bercerita pasal how worried my colleague yg lambat period. Sambil mengusik she might be pregnant. Lepas tu chat dgn my long lost friend. Cerita2 terlepas pulak beliau bercerita tentang kelincahan anak beliau. Hilang segala penat lelah stress kerja bila balik tgk anak sambut depan pintu katanya. Terpacul la soalan yg mmg aku tau semua org akan tanya. 'aku dah nak masuk 2 org ni. kau bila lagi?'. How am I suppose to answer that? Belum ada rezeki dan mungkin belum cukup usaha. Balik rumah, I just sit in my room playing games and etc. Keluar ke hall sekejap tgk sapa2 dah balik. Ok everyone is here except my husband. And again talking about pregnancy. Kakak is 3 weeks pregnant. Her 3rd pregnancy. Keluar pulak kata2 hikmat dr mak. Before this I was ok with it. Tapi hari ni aku kalah pada perasaan sendiri. Gagal mengawal emosi. And I end up locked myself in my room untill now. Hanya mampu berdoa dan terus berdoa. Apalah sangat setahun tiada anak jika dibandingkan dgn mereka yg menunggu hampir 10 tahun.
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